In our early hearings you brought your Bible
into the courtroom and you have spoken of praying for forgiveness. And so it is
on that basis that I appeal to you. If you have read the Bible you carry, you
know the definition of sacrificial love portrayed is of God himself loving so
sacrificially that he gave up everything to pay a penalty for the sin he did
not commit. By his grace, I, too, choose to love this way.
You spoke of praying for forgiveness. But
Larry, if you have read the Bible you carry, you know forgiveness does not come
from doing good things, as if good deeds can erase what you have done. It comes
from repentance which requires facing and acknowledging the truth about what
you have done in all of its utter depravity and horror without mitigation,
without excuse, without acting as if good deeds can erase what you have seen
this courtroom today.
If the Bible you carry says it is better for a
stone to be thrown around your neck and you throw into a lake than for you to
make even one child stumble. And you have damaged hundreds.
The Bible you speak carries a final judgment
where all of God's wrath and eternal terror is poured out on men like you.
Should you ever reach the point of truly facing what you have done, the guilt
will be crushing. And that is what makes the gospel of Christ so sweet. Because
it extends grace and hope and mercy where none should be found. And it will be
there for you.
I pray you experience the soul crushing weight
of guilt so you may someday experience true repentance and true forgiveness
from God, which you need far more than forgiveness from me -- though I extend
that to you as well.
Throughout this process, I have clung to a
quote by C.S. Lewis, where he says, my argument against God was that the
universe seems so cruel and unjust. But how did I get this idea of just,
unjust? A man does not call a line crooked unless he first has some idea of
straight. What was I comparing the universe to when I called it unjust?
Larry, I can call what you did evil and wicked
because it was. And I know it was evil and wicked because the straight line
exists. The straight line is not measured based on your perception or anyone
else's perception, and this means I can speak the truth about my abuse without
minimization or mitigation. And I can call it evil because I know what goodness
is. And this is why I pity you. Because when a person loses the ability to
define good and evil, when they cannot define evil, they can no longer define
and enjoy what is truly good.
When a person can harm another human being,
especially a child, without true guilt, they have lost the ability to truly
love. Larry, you have shut yourself off from every truly beautiful and good
thing in this world that could have and should have brought you joy and
fulfillment, and I pity you for it. You could have had everything you pretended
to be. Every woman who stood up here truly loved you as an innocent child, real
genuine love for you, and it did not satisfy.
I have experienced the soul satisfying joy of a
marriage built on sacrificial love and safety and tenderness and care. I have
experienced true intimacy in its deepest joys, and it is beautiful and sacred
and glorious. And that is a joy you have cut yourself off from ever
experiencing, and I pity you for it.
I have been there for young gymnasts and helped
them transform from awkward little girls to graceful, beautiful, confident
athletes and taken joy in their success because I wanted what was best for
them. And this is a joy you have cut yourself off from forever because your
desire to help was nothing more than a facade for your desire to harm.
I have lived the deep satisfaction of wrapping
my small children up in my arms and making them feel safe and secure because I
was safe, and this is a rich joy beyond what I can express, and you have cut
yourself off from it, because you were not safe. And I pity you for that.
In losing the ability to call evil what it is
without mitigation, without minimization, you have lost the ability to define
and enjoy love and goodness. You have fashioned for yourself a prison that is
far, far worse than any I could ever put you in, and I pity you for that.
And this is also why in many ways, your honor,
the worst part of this process was each name, each number who came forward to
the police with each Jane Doe, I saw my little girls and the little girls that were.
The little girls who walked into Larry's office that I could not save because
no one wanted to listen. And while that is not my guilt, it is pain I still
carry and pain I share with them.
I cried for them, and with every tear that fell
I wondered who is going to find these little girls, who is going to tell them
how much they are worth, how valuable they are, how deserving of justice and
protection?
Who is going to tell these little girls that
what was done to them matters? That they are seen and valued, that they are not
alone and they are not unprotected? And I could not do that ,but we are here
now and today that message can be sent with the sentence you hand down you can
communicate to all these little girls and to every predator to every little
girl or young woman who is watching how much a little girl is worth.
I am asking that we leave this courtroom we
leave knowing that when Larry was sexually aroused and gratified by our violation,
when he enjoyed our suffering and took pleasure in our abuse, that it was evil
and wrong.
I ask that you hand down a sentence that tells
us that what was done to us matters, that we are known, we are worth
everything, worth the greatest protection the law can offer, the greatest
measure of justice available.
And to everyone who is watching, I ask that
same question, how much is a little girl worth? Larry said in court that he
hoped education and learning would happen from this tragedy, and I share that
hope, and this is what we need to learn.
Look around the courtroom, remember what you
have witnessed these past seven days. This is what it looks like when someone
chooses to put their selfish desires above the safety and love for those around
them and let it be a warning to us all and moving forward as a society, This is
what it looks like when the adults in authority do not respond properly to
disclosures of sexual assault.
This is what it looks like when institutions
create a culture where a predator can flourish unafraid and unabated and this
is what it looks like when people in authority refuse to listen, put
friendships in front of the truth, fail to create or enforce proper policy and
fail to hold enablers accountable.
This is what it looks like. It looks like a
courtroom full of survivors who carry deep wounds. Women and girls who have
banded together to fight for themselves because no one else would do it. Women
and girls who carry scars that will never fully heal but who have made the
choice to place the guilt and shame on the only person to whom it belongs, the
abuser. But may the horror expressed in this courtroom over the last seven days
be motivation for anyone and everyone no matter the context to take
responsibility if they have failed in protecting a child, to understand the
incredible failures that led to this week and to do it better the next time.
Judge Aquilina, I plead with you as you
deliberate the sentence to give Larry, send a message that these victims are
worth everything. In order to meet both the goals of this court. I plead with
you to impose the maximum sentence under the plea agreement because everything
is what these survivors are worth. Thank you.
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