“Joyce never forgot what Joe had gone through in his early years, and she never wavered from a vow she had made to herself early in their relationship: come what may, she would make sure he never went through anything like it again, would never again be abandoned, would always have a warm and loving home.”
—The Boys in the Boat by Daniel James Brown
Home is so important in a person’s life, yet the work of building a home can be tedious and often goes unnoticed. Joyce had never planned to be a housewife or to spend her days keeping house. But because she loved Joe, she willingly did the work. She wanted him to feel secure. She wanted him to know that, whatever happened, he had a place where he was loved and would not be abandoned.
That reminded me of Grandma and Grandpa. They, too, built a home together—not simply a house, but a place where their three daughters could grow, learn, and develop their own gifts.
My mom remembered her dad teaching her older sister and her to type. He supervised their practice, making sure they learned to do it well. Grandma stood beside the piano for their piano practice helping them keep time. Those girls became typists and piano and organ players, and they continued those activities throughout their lives.
Grandma also found practical ways to care for her daughters. When my mom studied late at night, Grandma would heat a brick in the wood-stove oven, wrap it carefully, and put it at my mom’s feet to keep them warm. It was a simple thing, but it was an expression of love. The youngest daughter took voice lessons and developed a love of singing that stayed with her throughout her life.
In those days, building a home was not something that happened by itself. It took time, work, sacrifice, patience, and love. Grandma and Grandpa invested those things in their family, and eventually their three daughters left home to build homes of their own.
Yet leaving home was not always easy, nor was it always possible. Tragic circumstances like my great uncle dying at a young age and leaving a deaf wife and a baby. In those days deafness was treated differently than it is today. The family took the baby to raise and sent the mom away. The unmarried brother and sister remained at home. In my own family my sister and 3 brothers were reluctant to move out on their own. Eventually they did so.
And so the story continued from one generation to the next: people leaving one home and trying to create another. Houses were built, children were raised, skills were taught, and traditions were passed along. Through it all, the ordinary, sometimes tedious work of making a home continued.
Today, however, the idea of marriage and family seems to be changing. Many women are delaying marriage and family, and some are freezing their eggs so they can have children when they are older. According to a December 9, 2025, Washington Post report, young men today are, surprisingly, more interested in marriage than young women. The article suggested that this growing difference between the sexes could contribute to social chaos.
Perhaps part of the reason for the reluctance to marry is the message women have received for decades: that they can—and should—have it all. They can pursue a career, build a home, raise children, and somehow manage all of it without having to make difficult choices or sacrifices.
But can we really have it all?
Maybe the better question is: What is it that we value most? A career can be rewarding, and accomplishments outside the home certainly have value. But a loving home does not happen without someone investing time and energy in it. Joyce understood that. Grandma understood it. They knew that making a home was work, but they also knew that the work mattered.
Perhaps we have underestimated the importance of that work. A warm meal, a clean and welcoming house, a piano lesson supervised, a brick warmed in a wood stove, a child encouraged, a husband welcomed home—these may seem like small things. Yet those small things can become the very fabric of a family’s life.
A home is built one act of love at a time. And while building one may not always be glamorous, the security, memories, and love created there can last for generations.
Proverbs 31:10 An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. 11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. 12 She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.
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