Unlike "Mr. Rogers" I'm not good at being a neighbor. When Chris and I bought our first house we moved in next door to a widow named Mrs. Canon. She befriended us and welcomed us to the neighborhood. I felt I didn't have time for her but did accept a tea invitation to her house. She would give us stews and other hearty meals as she would cook too much and wanted to share. It never occurred to me that I should return the favor.
Janet and Jeanne 1947
My Aunt Jeanne also set the example for me as to how to be a good neighbor. Even though we lived 3000 miles away Aunt Jeanne would remember my birthday and send a gift. When we would travel cross country in the summer for a visit she would arrange a birthday picnic. Then after we moved to live in the same city where my Aunt Jeanne lived I began to have my eyes opened as to how she was a good neighbor. She invited us college kids to join her family for holidays and for back yard bbq's. I noticed that she checked on her neighbors and invited them over as well. Of course she took good care of our grandparents.
One time she bailed me out when I had a boyfriend give me a Christmas gift. I had nothing to give him. She happened to have in her "store" a pair of cufflinks she had gotten on sale for 50 cents. A wonderful seamstress, when shopping for a dress to wear to the college Military Ball I called her and asked her if she would take in a dress for me. She would. It turned out beautifully. I knew I was always welcomed to her home whenever I needed a place to go.
For our wedding she made the bridesmaid dresses. At Christmas she would give us wonderful gifts such as a lace tablecloth. When I was invited back to our college for the Military Ball she made me a dress. One Christmas she made matching aprons for us. At her memorial service her son-in-law read a wonderful tribute to her about all her kindnesses over the years. If I find it I will add it later.
Nevertheless I still had my problem of being a good neighbor. As an introvert I had never tried to meet our neighbors. Chris would enjoy chatting when our neighbors were out working on their lawns and gardens. So I made a habit of asking him to go meet the neighbors and report the news. It was when I came down with terrible chronic pain and had dedicated my life to pray for my relatives, friends, classmates, and neighbors that I decided that I needed to reach out to our neighbors in person.
When I saw the deterioration of our nation it became clear to me that the decline was spiritual. God put it on my heart that I should offer to do Bible studies with our neighbors. The first Bible study I started was a disaster. Everybody quit after the first week. Then when I was dealing with too much stress a speaker at a Christian conference told me a good thing to do is to study the attributes of God. She recommended a book called Behold Your God. Now I was prepared.
Next step was when I learned of how Rosaria Butterfield was treated after she wrote an editorial for the newspaper defending "Queer studies" (The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert: An English Professor's Journey into Christian Faith) I determined that kindness is the way to win people. So each place we have moved I have listened to our neighbor's needs and asked if I could pray for them. At a large mega-church we attended in one town I signed up to mentor a young woman. We studied "Behold Your God." It went well.
Next move was to a community of active seniors. Many had complaints. I felt moved to start a Bible study. We studied "Behold Your God." The group grew to about 10 to 15 attending even after I moved away.
Now we have a way to meet our neighbors at the yearly bbq our apartment complex provides. Last year I met a young couple and invited them to church. This year I invited the young mother to a Bible study. So far she hasn't accepted. I met another woman and attended her church with her. I offered to do a Bible study with her. I will wait on the Holy Spirit to move people to seek a Bible study with me or with someone else. Life is a long distance marathon and God is a forbearing God. He waits patiently for each one to turn to Him.
II Peter 3:9 The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.
Bobbie, I often feel I learned how to be a wife, mother and mother in law from Jeanne. Her consistently loving behavior to everyone in the family demonstrated to me what being loving looks like in daily life. One of her most important characteristic was her steadfast refusal to criticize another family member behind someone’s back. That created since of safety within the family because you knew she never made your mistake, or foolish decision or matter for conversation with others. Her generosity never favored on grand child over another. She gave freely to each child and always in ways that suited the individual. One of the first things that struck me was her
ReplyDeleteChristmas giving. She gave equally to her children and their spouses never favoring one over others.
She was an amazing woman. Thank you for your comment. I hope others will comment as well.
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