What Mom wanted for the five of us kids—Jay Leroy, Roberta Joy, Evy, Davy, and Wayney Boy—was for us to be happy. That was her hope and prayer.
As I grew older, I began chasing happiness in all the usual places—friends, money, popularity, traveling, self-improvement, career, and more. For a while, those things felt fulfilling. But deep down, it was never enough. There was always something more to strive for, a goal just out of reach.
On the outside, I had many blessings—my husband, children, houses, and much more. I did count those blessings, but then life took an unexpected turn. Like Paul in Scripture, I ended up with a thorn in my side.
In desperation, I prayed and prayed. I went from doctor to doctor searching for answers. Slowly, I had to let go of everything I once enjoyed—friends, family gatherings, traveling, aerobics, dancing, singing, putting on shows, working at the library... and more.
During this season of loss, I cried out to God. And in that quiet place of surrender, He placed something new on my heart: I could still pray, and I could learn to write.
This small beginning opened new doors. I joined prayer groups, started and led Moms in Prayer groups, and began writing—first a novel, then a blog. I immersed myself in God’s Word and found comfort in time spent with His people.
Yet even in this new path, I came to another crossroads. I finally gave up striving and asked God to do in me whatever He pleased. That surrender was the turning point.
He began to speak to me through Scripture, giving me verses that reassured me of His faithfulness—that He would complete the work He had started in me.
A dear friend, Nan, gently reminded me of something I hold on to: “It's in Trusting, not trying.”
"Sometimes life seems like words and music
That can't quite become a song
So we cry inside, and we try again
And wonder what could be wrong
But, when we turn to the Lord
At the end of ourselves
Like we've done a time or two before
We find His truth is the same
As it has always been
We never will need more
It's not in trying but in trusting
It's not in running but in resting
Not in wondering but in praying
That we find the strength of the Lord
It's not in trying but in trusting
Not in running but in resting
Not in wondering but in praying
That we find the strength of the Lord
He's all we need for our every need
We never need be alone
Still He'll let us go if we choose to
To live life on our own
Then the only good that will ever be said
Of the pains we find ourselves in
There are places to gain the wisdom to say
I'll never leave Him again"
----------------------------
Now, God is teaching me patience and perseverance—not the kind I would have chosen, but the kind I need. He is helping me love others better and guiding me to strive, not for worldly happiness, but toward His goal: to be holy, as He is holy.
As Philippians 1:6 reminds us:
“And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”
Found this quote-- now I will have to explore it-- "God has linked together holiness and happiness; and what God has joined together we must not think to put asunder."
ReplyDelete—J.C. Ryle