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Grandpa Roy and Grandma Grace Belle 1913

“Joyce never forgot what Joe had gone through in his early years, and she never wavered from a vow she had made to herself early in their relationship: come what may, she would make sure he never went through anything like it again, would never again be abandoned, would always have a warm and loving home.”
—The Boys in the Boat by Daniel James Brown

Home is so important in a person’s life, yet the work of building a home can be tedious and often goes unnoticed. Joyce had never planned to be a housewife or to spend her days keeping house. But because she loved Joe, she willingly did the work. She wanted him to feel secure. She wanted him to know that, whatever happened, he had a place where he was loved and would not be abandoned.

That reminded me of Grandma and Grandpa. They, too, built a home together—not simply a house, but a place where their three daughters could grow, learn, and develop their own gifts.

My mom remembered her dad teaching her older sister and her to type. He supervised their practice, making sure they learned to do it well. Grandma stood beside the piano for their piano practice helping them keep time. Those girls became typists and piano and organ players, and they continued those activities throughout their lives.

Grandma also found practical ways to care for her daughters. When my mom studied late at night, Grandma would heat a brick in the wood-stove oven, wrap it carefully, and put it at my mom’s feet to keep them warm. It was a simple thing, but it was an expression of love. The youngest daughter took voice lessons and developed a love of singing that stayed with her throughout her life.

In those days, building a home was not something that happened by itself. It took time, work, sacrifice, patience, and love. Grandma and Grandpa invested those things in their family, and eventually their three daughters left home to build homes of their own.

Yet leaving home was not always easy, nor was it always possible. Tragic circumstances like my great uncle dying at a young age and leaving a deaf wife and a baby.  In those days deafness was treated differently than it is today.  The family took the baby to raise and sent the mom away. The unmarried brother and sister remained at home.  In my own family my sister and 3 brothers were reluctant to move out on their own.  Eventually they did so. 

And so the story continued from one generation to the next: people leaving one home and trying to create another. Houses were built, children were raised, skills were taught, and traditions were passed along. Through it all, the ordinary, sometimes tedious work of making a home continued.

Today, however, the idea of marriage and family seems to be changing. Many women are delaying marriage and family, and some are freezing their eggs so they can have children when they are older. According to a December 9, 2025, Washington Post report, young men today are, surprisingly, more interested in marriage than young women. The article suggested that this growing difference between the sexes could contribute to social chaos.

Perhaps part of the reason for the reluctance to marry is the message women have received for decades: that they can—and should—have it all. They can pursue a career, build a home, raise children, and somehow manage all of it without having to make difficult choices or sacrifices.

But can we really have it all?

Maybe the better question is: What is it that we value most? A career can be rewarding, and accomplishments outside the home certainly have value. But a loving home does not happen without someone investing time and energy in it. Joyce understood that. Grandma understood it. They knew that making a home was work, but they also knew that the work mattered.

Perhaps we have underestimated the importance of that work. A warm meal, a clean and welcoming house, a piano lesson supervised, a brick warmed in a wood stove, a child encouraged, a husband welcomed home—these may seem like small things. Yet those small things can become the very fabric of a family’s life.

A home is built one act of love at a time. And while building one may not always be glamorous, the security, memories, and love created there can last for generations.

Proverbs 31:10   An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. 11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. 12 She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.    

11  and h

I'M STANDING UP ON THE INSIDE

 

Granddaughter Samantha 2006

Years ago, our son, Jes, and our future daughter-in-law, Jessica, had the responsibility of picking up someone from the airport for the wedding of their friend. They were surprised when they met the group from Japan and discovered that they had no car seat for their four-year-old. After getting the child safely to their friend's house, Jes and Jessica promptly went out and bought a car seat. They respected the law and wanted to obey it—not simply because it was the law, but because they knew it was intended for the child's safety.

That story reminds me of another story I heard years ago. A little girl was standing up on the seat in the car. Her mother insisted that she sit down and put on her seat belt. After some quick discussion, the girl finally submitted. But then she said, "I'm still standing up on the inside."

Isn't that sometimes how we are? We may obey outwardly while our hearts are still resisting.

I am very blessed to live in the United States and to have the freedom we have here. We can express our opinions and speak our minds as long as our speech is peaceful. Yet freedom does not mean that everything we choose to do is necessarily good for us or for those around us.

As I look at our culture today, I sometimes feel as though the young people are repeating some of the attitudes of the 1970s. Ugly is in, and language that once would have shocked us has become commonplace. Tattoos are now so normal that someone without tattoos can sometimes be the one who stands out. Yet customs and standards vary greatly from one part of the world to another. In some areas of Tanzania, for example, tattoos are considered far more serious than we might imagine—some even viewing them as worse than adultery.

These differences remind me that what our culture accepts is not always the same as what is best for us. And underneath all these outward expressions is something we all have in common: there is a little bit of rebellion in every one of us.

It is difficult to walk the straight path when there is so much noise surrounding us. We want to have friends. We want to fit in. We want to enjoy life. Sometimes one small step away from what is good seems harmless, but that one step can make the next step easier—and before long, we can find ourselves farther from the path than we ever intended to be.

So how do we live the best life? How do we continue walking in the right direction when making the effort becomes tiring? Sometimes it may seem almost useless to keep trying. We are running the marathon of this life, and we can become weary from the effort.

But there is Good News!

God does not ask us to run this race in our own strength. When we ask Him, He will indwell us with the power of His Holy Spirit. He helps us recognize what is right, gives us strength when we are weak, and draws us back when we begin to wander. Through His Word and His people, He teaches us how to keep walking the straight path.

Perhaps the goal isn't simply to make sure we are sitting down on the outside. God wants to change what is happening on the inside as well. We don't have to remain "standing up on the inside." Through His grace, He can change our hearts so that our outward obedience becomes an expression of an inward desire to follow Him.

And when we stumble—and we will—we don't have to give up. We can get back on the path, ask for His help, and keep running the race. The Good News is that we don't run it alone.

I Kings 19:18 "...Yet I will leave seven thousand in Israel, all the knees that have not bowed to Baal, and every mouth that has not kissed him.”