What, Me Worry?

I have never been accused of being a worrier.  In the past I have been blamed for not caring because I refused to worry.  My dad wasn’t a worrier either so I must have inherited this gene from him.  My mom called him “The Eternal Optimist.” 

 Now to my story. My husband, Chris, decided to change careers when our daughter was 7 and our son was 6 months old.  We’d always done OK financially, so I wasn’t worried about this change or not having an income.  But his new career choice didn’t pay off and we were soon out of money.  Our church helped us pay our bills, a car was donated to the church and given to us, and we borrowed money from my mother-in-law.  Jobs were scarce and we both took anything we could find.  Chris even worked by day for our landlord to pay the rent and then worked at various jobs at night. I worked at day care, substitute teaching, and part time jobs through a temp agency. Times were tough.

Our church family prayed that Chris would find a good job.  I made jokes about what we would have to eat—“Today we’ll have egg McMuffins.  Of course we have no muffins, no eggs, but we do have bread and cheese.” 

After about 4 years we decided we needed to try something else.  I finally admitted that we needed clothing, food, and shelter—although we did have the car that was given to us so we could have lived in it if we were forced to move out of our rental house!  Since Chris had been in the military reserve  he was able to reenlist and had the rank of Staff Sergeant.  He was offered a school in Biloxi, Mississippi, at Keesler Air Force Base, and we took the offer. 

At this same time, apparently, my aerobics exercises had caused me to develop bone spurs on my c-5 vertebrae and the chronic pain in my neck was spread throughout my body by the treatment of a recommended chiropractor.  I had come down with fibromyalgia.  Chris developed boils.  We studied Job together. They say worrying can make you sick but I had disproved that theory.  The finite bodies we have on this earth can become sick through no fault of our own. Maybe Satan was attacking us but God used these things to draw us to Himself.

Now, after graduating from his electronics school (with honors) Chris was able to get a good job in San Jose, CA.  Then several months later he was offered an even better job at Hewlett-Packard.  A few years later he landed a fantastic job with Microsoft.  Most people would say it was just a series of “coincidences” or good fortune; but I know it was the hand of God guiding our steps.  With one mighty leap we were able to pay off our debts and put our children through college paying cash the entire way.  I was able to stop work and concentrate on prayer and Bible study to which I felt led. 

When my sister died at age 49 leaving an eight-year-old daughter, I was asked what do you think about this?  Borrowing a line from Scarlett O'Hare in "Gone with the Wind," I said, “I’m not going to think about it today.  I’ll think about it tomorrow.” For me sometimes it is better not to think but to trust.   I knew that God would comfort us in our grief and that my niece would be in the palm of His hand.  My niece grew up, graduated from college, and is walking with the Lord.  I know now that Proverbs 3:5-6 is true if we—“Trust in the Lord with all our hearts, and lean not on our own understanding; in all our ways acknowledge Him,  He will make our paths straight."