Finally, after 60 years of marriage, I have some marriage advice. Looking back, there are a few things I would do differently if I had the chance to start again.
To begin with, the very first thing I would do is make sure we both believed in Jesus as our Savior. That shared foundation in faith makes all the difference.
Next, I would go through a practical resource with my fiancé—Before You Say "I Do": A Marriage Guide for Couples by H. Norman Wright. Preparing together with a tool like this sets the stage for a stronger start.
The third thing I would do is make sure we both had jobs before we married. Chris and I made the mistake of not having employment in place, and that made our early years together more difficult than they needed to be.
In addition, I would recommend reading Albert Mohler’s insightful article: Marriage Comes After Adult Milestones? It’s No Wonder We Face a Delay of Marriage Crisis. His perspective sheds light on how cultural shifts have reshaped marriage today.
"We all sense that huge shifts have taken place in the moral and cultural landscape around us—especially concerning marriage and the family, the central institution of society. Not only have there been massive transformations, but also ideological subversions in recent years.
Every once in a while, a piece comes along that helps crystallize where we stand and how Christians ought to respond differently than the secular world. The Wall Street Journal recently ran such an article, titled “Financial Shift Delays Marriage Age,” by Rachel Wolfe. The subhead noted that more young people are now looking for financial stability before the wedding.
This leads to an important realization: marriage is no longer viewed the way it once was. Historically, adulthood and marriage were intertwined—marriage was seen as the defining marker of entering adulthood. Today, however, marriage is being delayed, often until people feel financially or professionally “ready.”
The statistics make this shift clear. According to census data, the median age for a first marriage is now 30 for men and 29 for women. That’s a noticeable climb from just a decade or two ago. This cultural delay stretches adolescence into the late 20s or even early 30s, with devastating results for marriage, family, and society as a whole.
From a biblical standpoint, however, Scripture places marriage at the very center of the adult horizon. The pattern is clear: life is meant to be built together, not separately and then pieced together later.
Sociologists have described this change in terms of two models: the cornerstone model and the capstone model of marriage. In the past, marriage was the cornerstone of adulthood—you got married young and built your economic and social life as a couple. Today, marriage has shifted to being a capstone—a kind of crowning achievement after financial stability, career, and lifestyle are already established.
But this redefinition comes with serious consequences: declining birthrates, delayed childbearing, broken expectations between men and women, and the weakening of marriage in working-class communities.
From a Christian perspective, all of this points back to God’s design. Scripture makes it clear that marriage is not merely a status symbol or lifestyle choice—it is the building block of society and a picture of Christ and His church. God’s plan is for a husband and wife to build a life together, depending on Him for help and strength along the way."
So, after 60 years of marriage, here is my closing thought in agreement with Albert Mohler: marriage is a mystery and a miracle. It is not something we can do well on our own. The only way to do it right is with God’s help.
“This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”
—Ephesians 5:32
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