TO HUG OR NOT TO HUG THAT IS THE AWKWARD QUESTION

 

My parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins never hugged as we were growing up. Physical affection just wasn’t part of our family culture.

But over time, something began to shift.

Our family of non-huggers slowly started to change. A family friend, Nan—a warm and outgoing transplant from Northern Ireland—would hug us without hesitation. Then a cousin married a woman who hugged. Later, a mom of one of my son's classmates greeted me with a hug. These huggers just couldn’t help themselves—it was in their nature.

That’s when I started to wonder: why hadn't hugging ever been part of our norm?

I tried to analyze the situation. Maybe our family avoided hugging because our ancestors had survived contagious diseases by keeping their distance. Or perhaps it was more psychological—maybe we were all engineers or scientists who preferred logic to physical connection. Were we completely non-tactile by design?

Then came a new perspective.

A friend mentioned that hugging is medicinal. That is, it’s actually healthy to hug. Some even say it lowers blood pressure, reduces stress, and improves emotional well-being.

In faith communities, there's even discussion that the modern-day hug has replaced the “holy kiss” once practiced among early Christians. That’s a fascinating evolution in how people express warmth and connection. (Click here to find more thoughts on hugs.)

The Bible offers a beautiful image of embrace in Luke 15:20:

"And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him."

It turns out—even in Scripture—a hug can say what words cannot.